Why do we make decisions or give advice to others so easily? We become more confident, firmer, and clearer. But when we make the same decision for ourselves, we become overly conscious. The confidence, firmness, clarity, and ability to act are all missing.
I have seen this in myself. I can give advice to others with full clarity and think outside the box. I do my calculations and consider every possibility. But when the tables turn, my mind somehow wanders.
It’s like a doctor needing another doctor for his own problem, or a therapist needing to consult another therapist. Everyone knows the issue, but we can’t make decisions for ourselves.
Another thing I often witness is that most of our worries lie on the surface or just beneath it. We keep worrying about these small issues, but we don’t worry much about the major ones. Somehow we know that we can either handle them or we can’t, so they don’t keep us awake. But the tiny issues are like a small needle that keeps poking us. We don’t know where the problem lies or how to remove the pin, even when we can see it. It’s like we need help with decision-making, with assurance, or with external validation.
We can’t think outside the box because we keep thinking about our problems. We keep having the same thoughts again and again, and we get stuck in them. That makes it harder to detach from the problem.
Why does this happen? I believe we can’t see the full picture. Or even if we do, it becomes biased towards ourselves. I am not saying this happens every time, but sometimes it does. We know our positive and negative behaviours, habits, and patterns. So if we have accountability, we can take a shot and act. Without it, decision-making feels difficult.
How am I becoming self-accountable? By making small promises to myself, keeping them, and feeling proud of it. It trains my brain and body to work as a team, and that helps me take big actions.
Training the brain and body takes time. Sometimes it is difficult, but it is not impossible.
So take a pause and think: Have you ever taken someone’s help for an issue you had already solved for others? If yes, what was it? Why couldn’t you make a decision at that time? What held you back, or kept you stuck?
I ask because problems can change, but our way of responding to them is often similar. Pausing and thinking about it helps us understand ourselves better, and that helps us tackle future problems.
I shared this blog as a podcast. You can listen here.